Becoming a mother.

When we found out I was pregnant with our first child there was no question in my mind that I was not going to use pain medication. I felt as if women had given birth for hundreds of years with no pain assistance so why couldn’t I. Yeah, it hurt. It hurt like hell (whatever that feels like). Actually it hurt worse than that but once it was over, I was holding my baby. I was holding the human that had lived inside me for nearly ten months. I had given this child life. I had given this child the opportunity to make this world different. Some would say that giving birth was the easy part.

Pregnancy had always been fascinating to me. I loved everything natural about it. I had hoped I would be able to breastfeed any and all the children I would have and fortunately, I was able to.

After breastfeeding our first daughter for two years, when it was time to breastfeed our second I figured I’d do it just as long. But there was another plan that I yet didn’t know about. A plan that would require me to stop nursing early.

I was showering one day and noticed two small swollen masses in my armpit. Considering I was breastfeeding, why be concerned. If you’ve breastfed you know that swollen milk ducts are common and who knew you had so many milk ducts anyways. I gave it a few days and noticed they hadn’t shrunk but still yet I didn’t think anything about it. Let’s be honest why should I. The idea of cancer wasn’t in my mind. Why should it be. Breast cancer doesn’t run in my family. I didn’t feel sick, I didn’t look sick. I was young. I was a young wife. I was a young mom. So I waited. I waited a week or two and there the two masses were again one evening in the shower. So I said something to my husband and he said just out of precaution, call the doctor. So I did. My appointment was made for Monday, September 21st, 2020.

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